Weirdo Guide to Dublin Pubs: Keavan’s Port

It’s finally happened.

We didn’t have time to get to a new pub over the bank holiday weekend – too busy smashing the Dublin City Half Marathon – and so, we’ve had to dig deep into our occasionally-regrettable photo archives to find what we had lying about. This can only mean one thing – it’s Spoons time.

Although as a rule we tend to avoid Wetherspoons – easily done as there aren’t so very many of them in Ireland – occasionally, needs must. The Spoons in question is Keavan’s Port on Camden Street, and, if we put the sight of the bouncers (and some punters) to one side and focus only on the complex itself, it’s a huge achievement, and well worth visiting simply to explore the building(s). Now both pub and hotel, for many years, the Georgian townhouses that make up the site were derelict, with little of the previous history visible or accessible. And the history is fascinating: these buildings have housed a convent, a boxing gym, a stained-glass workshop (some of them concurrently) as well as their original residential intent.

And the restoration work is truly wonderful – care has been taken throughout to honour the different eras and uses that have gone before, and there are explanatory panels and photos throughout the pub (if you keep an eye out). The attention to historical detail has been balanced out with accessibility measures – ramps, lifts and a variety of reasonably easy-to-navigate spaces, despite the multi-level, multi-space layout of the pub; it’s comparatively rare to find this much care given to these features in Dublin, even in many pub rebuilds.

And yet.

Despite the layers of local history, there is still a feeling that you could be in any Wetherspoons in, say, Loughborough. The ‘pub experience’ doesn’t feel local – it feels pre-packaged and generically, well, British. This is not inherently a bad thing – we love going to the UK to go pub-bothering there, especially if there’s good cask ale on. But the ones we tend to go to there (even if, as is so often the case there, part of a larger pubco) still feel like they have their own personalities and quirks. This may, of course, be very much self-selected, but a pub like Ye Old Mitre still feels like it has its own vibe, even if it’s part of the Fuller’s/Asahi empire, while the Spoons experience is much more akin to a global chain (especially when it comes to the always-underwhelming, presumably-microwaved food).

The cask offering is also a point of contention here – as cask nerds, we’ve noted before the very small number of pubs in Dublin that have any cask ale at all – on any given day, the ones you are most likely to find in action at a non-Wetherspoons are single cask lines at The Porterhouse and Harty’s Bar, respectively (though we have it on very good authority that another beer engine will soon be regularly with us at A New Pub…watch this space), while The Black Sheep has neglected this of late. And, indeed, there are up to 5 beer engines at Keavan’s Port, but on the several occasions we’ve tried, a good 3 of them have been out of service (with the working ones being rather unremarkable Greene King beers), whilst on other visits, the beers had actively gone off and were nearly straight-up vinegar. To be fair, we know others have not had this experience here, and we seem to be particularly unlucky, but it’s always proved disappointing for us.

Finally, though, there is the other main Wetherspoons selling point: the cost. You will not find cheaper pints in the city – €2.60 for a Worthington’s Creamflow, or €4.50 for a Beamish are hard to beat, which is a not-unreasonable point. It would just be nice if the experience felt more like a real ‘Dublin’ one, but if price is the main issue, that may not be relevant to many punters.

Which, of course, leads us to the other reason we tend to not go there very much – it would be horrifying to the Young Adult member of the household to run into us at a place that is very much a usual haunt of His People; best to leave it to the Youth most of the time, but it is handy for a cheap pint before a gig nearby, and you can always make paper airplanes from the Wetherspoons magazine if you are so inclined. Just consider eating somewhere else beforehand…

Where: 1-5 Camden Street Upper, Dublin, IE D02 K854
Access from the city centre: Buses 9, 14, 15, 16, 27, 56A, 65B, 77A, 83, 140, 151, 15-ish minute walk
Food: Breakfast/lunch/dinner – the usual Wetherspoons options
Sport: All the sports
TVs: All over the place, though some areas are more subdued
Music: Quite a generic soundtrack of MOR tracks through the decades
Family-friendliness: There is the standard Spoons kids’ menu, but Camden Street can get rowdy at night
Pub-crawl-ability: High – Devitt’s, Anseo, Barebone, The Camden, Ryan’s of Camden Street, The Bleeding Horse, The Portobello Bar
Local sites of note: Whelan’s, Iveagh Gardens, St Stephen’s Green, National Concert Hall, Marsh’s Library, St Patrick’s Cathedral
Haunted: Definite ‘haunted object’ vibes in some sports
Other notes: One of only a few spots with truly accessible toilets throughout the building
Socials: N/A